Time with My Father

Have you ever taken the time to pour out your heart to God?  To go beyond the "please God do this or heal this person or make this happen" aspect that's so typical of our prayers and to really just be honest with Him?  I know it probably seems like a scary thought... but it really shouldn't be... I mean, if we can't honest with God-- who already knows EVERYTHING about us-- then who can we be honest with?  In reading the Psalms and some of the conversations that people had with God (have you ever read Job?), I'm aware of just how honest and raw David and others were willing to be with God.  They knew that He cares about how we feel... He already knows how we feel, but He wants us to talk to Him about it.

So anyway... I haven't done that in a long time... and tonight after dinner, I grabbed my Bible and a notebook and sat on my living room floor and just poured out my heart to Him.  I did a lot of apologizing for a lot of stuff...  I've been carrying around a lot of guilt and shame for a long time.  I've been feeling like I've let God down, and I wanted Him to know that.  But He graciously and gently brought me to ask for and receive forgiveness.  I asked Him to help me release the guilt and shame... It's been such a heavy burden, and I'm tired of carrying it.  I want to fly... and I can't do that with that weight.  I'm so grateful that because Jesus took my punishment, I can receive forgiveness without any guilt or shame.  Satan continues to stand accusing, but Jesus stands between us, bearing the brunt of those accusations and leaving me guilt-free.

After that I spent some time listening for God's voice, asking Him to speak to me about who He is and who I am.  He was faithful to respond, and He said quite a bit.  So much of it was just a reminder of how much He loves me and how much I am worth to Him.  I had this image of a sculptor chiseling away at a block of stone... he works carefully and methodically, chiseling in just the right places and in just the right way... eventually what seemed like just a stone becomes a beautiful work of art-- a masterpiece.  God is making me into His masterpiece.  He is working to reveal the beauty that resides within me that has been hidden by sin and lies and hurt and fear.  It hurts-- this chiseling-- but I know that it's worth it.

If you haven't spent any time with God lately, I encourage you to do so.  Be honest with Him about your hopes and your dreams, your hurts and your heartaches... and then take some time to listen... ask Him some questions; He'll answer.  He longs to just be with you, to spend time in conversation with you-- His beloved.  Tomorrow is Father's Day... perhaps some time with your Heavenly Father is in order...