In my last post I used the word ‘stuck’ in reference to my being stuck at justice and unable to move past that into the grace God pours out on me. In the last month and a half, though, that word has becoming the overriding description of much of my life. I just feel stuck… stagnant… not moving…
June 2 marked 2 years of being in my current job… the longest I’ve had a job since college (and even then I got to rotate from my school-year jobs to my summer job). My job is in no way related to things I’m passionate about or feel like God is calling me to do, and so it is just a job. But at the moment my desire for a new job remains unfulfilled… and so I’m stuck in the current one with no idea how to get out.
I guess I’m ready for the next phase of my life to start… whatever that might be… and not just with my job… but apparently it’s not time yet. It’s like telling a little kid about some exciting event in February and then telling them they have to wait until September to actually experience it. It’s so hard not to let September become this glorious thing that consumes your thoughts and prevents you from truly experiencing and appreciating all the other glorious things that happen in the meantime. And it’s hard not to feel like September is never going to get here.
I’m trying to balance holding on to the hope that change is coming, that God has a plan that He’s working out, with finding contentment in my current situation. It’s not an easy thing to do…
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