Change of Plans

Did it again... let months fly by without even thinking of this blog, let alone posting. So much has happened over the last 10 months that the thought of trying to summarize is a bit overwhelming... Let's just say that it's been a year of change...

On Wednesday, Sarah and I hosted a Christmas Eve Eve party. Sarah came up with an idea for reading through the Christmas story... We read a section and then asked questions that were meant to lead people into applying the truths of the story to their own lives. The overarching theme of the questions dealt with how God's plans don't always make sense to us. I mean, think about it... First of all, He asks an unmarried virgin to give birth to the savior of the world. Then, when she and her fiance agree to the plan, He sends them away from their hometown and everything they know to a town where there is no room so they have to stay in a stable. If I were Mary or Joseph, there would have been plenty of moments of saying, "Really, God? This is really the plan?"

I know I would have asked that because I asked it plenty of times this year. Last year around this time, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what the next year (maybe even two) was going to bring. I had roommates, a cute little house, a church that seemed pretty good... I figured all of that would continue... Maybe add a few friends, deepen relationships with old friends... It was going to be a good year. God had other plans. My last post references an incident that was only the beginning of things definitely not going my way. Besides that friendship, there were others I needed to pull back from in order to keep them healthy. The community I thought was forming fell apart as various members (including myself) made poor decisions. My roommates and I went our separate ways when our lease ended in July, and I'm now living completely alone for the first time in my entire life. I changed churches for the third time since graduating from college.

And that's just the stuff that was happening around me... God's plan created even more change and chaos in my heart. There are so many things He has revealed to me... wounds and sin issues and thought patterns... It's all been quite overwhelming. Every new thing He brings to light I immediately want to grab hold of and try to fix it. But that's not His plan either.

So... I'm thinking my "resolution" for this coming year will be this: I'm letting go of all expectations except the expectation that God will work out His will in my life, that He will remember His covenants and fulfill His promises, that He will continue the work He has started in me. Whatever happens, however it happens, I'm trusting that as long God wills it, it's for my good and is better than any plan I could come up with myself.