A Continuation

Being the verbal processor that I am, writing last night's post got me thinking... what exactly are the implications of this epiphany?

Well, first of all, if God is "merely" teaching me how to be what I already am, then this whole process is free of condemnation, guilt, and shame.  There is only love motivating His desire to have me be who I really am.  It's not about punishing me for acting like a chicken when I'm really a horse.  His desire is to have a relationship with me that is unhindered by my desire to be something I'm not.  His purpose in teaching me my true nature is to prepare me for the "good works, which [He] prepared in advance for [me] to do" (Eph. 2:10).  No guilt; no shame; no condemnation.

Secondly, if I have spent my life acting like a chicken when I'm really a horse, then the things I did in the past no longer apply.  They don't define who I am.  I want to be careful to point out that I am not denying responsibility for my actions.  I have made many poor choices, and have dealt with (and am still dealing with) the consequences of those choices.  But they were the actions of a chicken.  I am a horse.  I have always been a horse and always will be a horse.  Acting like a chicken didn't change that.  Acting like a chicken for the majority of my 25 years didn't change my identity.  I'm still a horse.  And now I'm finally acting like one.

What freeing thoughts these are!  Yes, the process of re-learning my identity and how to act within that is difficult.  I've kind of been addicted to being a chicken, and, as any addict will tell you, it's hard to break the habit.  But it's much easier when you can rest in the knowledge that the process is free of guilt and shame.  And when you can be free of the fear that your past defines you, you can step more confidently into your future. ::insert majestic horse noise here::